Daycare Settling-In: A Successful Start

The first day at daycare is a big step — for your child and for you. A good settling-in period is crucial for your child feeling safe and happy at daycare. Here you will learn how the settling-in works, what you can do, and what is normal.

Why Is the Settling-In Period So Important?

Young children need secure attachments. In the first years of life, parents are the primary attachment figures — everything new is explored from this secure base. The settling-in period gives your child time to get to know a new caregiver (the educator) and build trust, to explore the new environment while you are still there, and to gradually learn that you leave and come back.

A rushed or too-short settling-in period can lead to the child feeling permanently insecure. That is why good daycare centers deliberately take time for this — at least 1–2 weeks, often 3–4 weeks.

The Berlin Model: The Standard in Switzerland

Most Swiss daycare centers follow the Berlin Settling-In Model, which was developed in the 1980s at the Institute for Applied Socialization Research. It is based on attachment theory and is divided into four phases:

Phase 1: Foundation Phase (Days 1–3)

Duration: 1–2 hours per day

You come to the daycare with your child and stay in the room. You are the "safe harbor" — available but holding back. The key caregiver approaches the child gently and offers play activities.

Your role: Be there but don't push yourself forward. Let your child come and go. Don't try to entertain them — that is the caregiver's job. Do not sneak away when you leave at the end of the session.

Phase 2: First Separation (from Day 4)

Duration: 15–30 minutes of separation

After a few days, you try the first short separation. You say goodbye clearly and warmly and leave the room — but stay nearby (next room or at the door).

If your child cries: This is normal. The caregiver will try to comfort them. If the child calms down within a few minutes, the separation was successful. If not, you will be called back and another attempt will be made the next day.

Phase 3: Stabilization (Days 5–10)

Duration: Gradual extension of the separation time

The separation time is extended day by day. First 30 minutes, then an hour, then through lunch, then including a nap. The caregiver takes over more and more tasks (diaper changing, feeding, comforting) while you gradually step back.

Phase 4: Completion (from Days 10–14)

Signs that the settling-in is complete:

• Your child can be comforted by the caregiver when they are sad
• They show joy when they see the caregiver
• They play curiously and explore the environment
• They accept the separation — even if they cry briefly, they calm down quickly

Schedule: Settling-In Week by Week

Day	What happens	Duration
Days 1–3	Child + parent together at daycare	1–2 hrs
Day 4	First short separation	15–30 min
Days 5–7	Separation is extended	1–2 hrs
Days 8–10	Child stays through lunch (with meal)	3–4 hrs
Days 11–14	Child stays including nap	5–6 hrs
From day 15	Regular daily routine	Full care time

Important: This is a guideline. Some children only need 5 days, others 4 weeks. Both are normal. Don't let yourself be pressured for time — not even by your employer. Talk to your employer about the settling-in period early on.

What to Do If Your Child Cries Every Morning?

It is completely normal for children to cry at drop-off during the first weeks. This does not mean they are unhappy — it shows that they have a strong bond with you.

What helps:

• Establish a goodbye ritual: Always say goodbye the same way. For example: hug, kiss, wave at the window. Short and clear — no sneaking away, no endless dragging it out.
• Bring a comfort toy: A familiar object from home provides security.
• Pick up on time: Keep your promise. If you say "I'll pick you up after the afternoon snack," then be there after the afternoon snack.
• Trust the caregiver: In the vast majority of cases, the child calms down within minutes of saying goodbye. Ask at pick-up how things went.
• Don't go back and forth: When you leave, leave. Coming back because the child is crying prolongs the pain for both of you.

When to raise the alarm:

If your child still shows strong separation anxiety after 4 weeks, consistently withdraws at daycare, does not eat and does not sleep — then talk openly with the daycare management. The settling-in plan may need to be adjusted, or a different setting may be needed.

Settling-In with a Childminder and Playgroup

The Berlin Model also works with childminders and playgroups — in adapted form:

Childminder: The settling-in is often shorter (1 week) because the environment is more home-like and only a few children are present. Still: don't rush it.

Playgroup: Many playgroups offer 1–2 trial half-days where a parent stays. After that, separation is practiced step by step. Since playgroups only last 2–3 hours, the settling-in is usually easier.

Checklist: Preparing for the Settling-In Period

• Block the settling-in time in your work calendar (at least 2 weeks)
• Clarify with your employer: Who handles the settling-in (mother, father, or alternating)?
• Pack a comfort toy or familiar object
• Prepare spare clothes, diapers, pacifier (if needed)
• Playfully prepare your child for daycare (picture books about daycare life)
• Reflect on your own anxieties — your child senses when you are uncertain
• Keep your phone nearby (in case the daycare calls)
• First week: Don't schedule any major appointments — stay flexible

Sources: Pro Juventute, kibesuisse, Marie Meierhofer Institut. Last updated: February 2026.